The Tahoe Paradigm Shift...

There is a secret to my life that I often forget.  It has to do with the value taking risks, and my need to seek new experiences.  This trip has reminded me that I'm not a stationary person in general, and the more I try to force myself into the mold, the more out of sorts I get.

Cassie and I waking up in Desolation Wilderness Area

At some point in my late teens and early twenties, I had a strong belief that a life off the beaten path was important to me.  I have learned in the past decade that this is not just important to me.  It is imperative, and the cost of ignoring is so much higher than I would have thought.

So what Happened?  I like to think of it as a "faithquake."  Risks were taken, some foolish, some not.  Ultimately, I made choices that were difficult, and living through the consequences caused me to doubt my beliefs.  Interestingly, at each point where I felt the most desperate, with the perspective I have now, I can say that I had achieved everything I had wanted.  The problem is that I did not know what I wanted.  I would shoot for something, get exactly what I wanted, and then let it go.  A great example is Blackbeards.  Sure there was a little glitch in the schedule, but it was $3k/month tax free, and I was doing 20-25 dives a week.  And I quit.

On the way to Velma Lakes

I have never pursued a diving job and not gotten it.  I successfully became a lawyer.  I have been a waiter, a cook, a bartender, a deck hand, a captain, a divemaster, an instructor, a mosquito control field agent, a scuba repair technician, a commercial diver, a paralegal, a retail manager, and on it goes.  So getting what I want is not impossible.  In fact, it is highly probable.  But I have to regain my conviction.

Cassie on the transfer to Tahoe

 Tahoe did this for me, at least in part.  It is hard not to have a shift in attitude when you are surrounded by deep wilderness, uncharted territory, some time truly alone, and some time with new people and ideas (Hi Tina, Jim, Jason, and Frank).  In one of the great movies of my childhood, a father looks his son in the eye and says:

"Without change, something sleeps inside us, and seldom awakens."

It is time, and this trip has gotten a stir.