Chogyam Trungpa

PANORAMIC VISION

Mandala is a Sanskrit word that means “society” or “group.” Once you stand in the middle of the mandala or the situation, you can see the panoramic view of all the directions. This is also connected with feeling unique or alone—loneliness. Only you can see this vision, rather than somebody else. If we are willing to centralize or stand in the center of what is, then we accept that “I am alone and my spiritual journey is my experience.” This is the real experience of freedom and independence. Then we begin to see that being alone is a very beautiful thing. Nobody is obstructing our vision. We have complete panoramic vision.

Photo Album from Lake Tahoe

The Tahoe Paradigm Shift...

There is a secret to my life that I often forget.  It has to do with the value taking risks, and my need to seek new experiences.  This trip has reminded me that I'm not a stationary person in general, and the more I try to force myself into the mold, the more out of sorts I get.

Cassie and I waking up in Desolation Wilderness Area

At some point in my late teens and early twenties, I had a strong belief that a life off the beaten path was important to me.  I have learned in the past decade that this is not just important to me.  It is imperative, and the cost of ignoring is so much higher than I would have thought.

So what Happened?  I like to think of it as a "faithquake."  Risks were taken, some foolish, some not.  Ultimately, I made choices that were difficult, and living through the consequences caused me to doubt my beliefs.  Interestingly, at each point where I felt the most desperate, with the perspective I have now, I can say that I had achieved everything I had wanted.  The problem is that I did not know what I wanted.  I would shoot for something, get exactly what I wanted, and then let it go.  A great example is Blackbeards.  Sure there was a little glitch in the schedule, but it was $3k/month tax free, and I was doing 20-25 dives a week.  And I quit.

On the way to Velma Lakes

I have never pursued a diving job and not gotten it.  I successfully became a lawyer.  I have been a waiter, a cook, a bartender, a deck hand, a captain, a divemaster, an instructor, a mosquito control field agent, a scuba repair technician, a commercial diver, a paralegal, a retail manager, and on it goes.  So getting what I want is not impossible.  In fact, it is highly probable.  But I have to regain my conviction.

Cassie on the transfer to Tahoe

 Tahoe did this for me, at least in part.  It is hard not to have a shift in attitude when you are surrounded by deep wilderness, uncharted territory, some time truly alone, and some time with new people and ideas (Hi Tina, Jim, Jason, and Frank).  In one of the great movies of my childhood, a father looks his son in the eye and says:

"Without change, something sleeps inside us, and seldom awakens."

It is time, and this trip has gotten a stir.

Watch Out Tahoe, Here I Come

Headed to Tahoe to test out my camping / backcountry skillz.  A bit rusty.  The general plan is to hit the Tahoe Rim Trail, and to camp anywhere that is free.  At some point, no matter how cold it is, I will freedive in lake Tahoe.  Then I will probably spend 12-24 hours trying to get warm again.

I wonder who I will meet, and what I will see.  I will have a couple of solo days in there, and am fascinated with the possibilities.

An Agent for Change

I must have fallen asleep on the train.  Not sure where I have woken up, but I get the distinct impression that if I had not checked back in to life when I did, my fate may have been sealed.  It's not that it is ever too late to change, it's that I was losing the ability to see what I have been missing.  Losing the ability to comprehend that there is more to life.  Pacified and forgetful.  Not a good combination.

New Mission: Explore and Unite!  Pay attention to the ~Journey~, and to the amazing people who surround me.

Step One: Reclaim my place in the Ocean.  SCUBA!